recently, me and two friends went to watched a movie called "he is just not that into you". the movie is made up of many small stories that are somehow interconnected. throughout the show we were commenting about the different stages from the Knapp model.
one of the story in the show was about this couple who were together for 7years and the guy didnt ask the girl to marry her. her friend who is always searching for the right partner was being told straight in the face by a guy that "if the guy didnt call you, he is not interested in you. things dont always turn out the same for everyone. if it happen to someone before, they are the exception". she went to told the girl what she heard from the guy, and she got worried that her boyfriend wont marry her. so she went home to ask him whether he will marry her and sadly the guy said no. they broke off at the time when her sister was getting married. after the ceremony, the girl's father was sick, all her brother-in-laws did nothing to help out around the house. they played games and created a mess in the house. her sisters were all so sad because they regretted stepping into a marriage which turn out to be a failure. one day, her boyfriend came to visit, he bought her father's favourite food and help out with washing the dishes which none of her brother-in-law did. that was then she realize that marriage is not so important and that what is more important is that they love each other. so she went to look for him and requested for a reconcile. at that time, the guy has already changed his mindset about getting married with her. but he didnt say it out. there was this pair of pants that the girl didnt let the guy keep. she said that they can move back together but the pants wont be welcome. as they were unpacking their luggage at their house, the girl saw the pants, she wanted to throw it away cos she want to keep to her promise of agreeing to not getting married. the guy had the ring in the pocket. he got her to check the pockets before throwing it away. of cos the girl found the ring and the guy knelt down and proposed to her.
what a sweet story. is marriage really that important? does it means that when someone is with you for a shorter time has higher probability of getting married with you compared to someone who is with you for 7 years? does it means that you will be happier when you are married?
the guy referred marriage to funeral in the show. but in the end he still agree to marrying her. they are together for 7 years and the guy has never ever cheated on the girl. even when they broke off, he didnt look for another girl and he still cared for her like he always did. i love this short story the most because of the loyalty of the guy and how so many things that happened to them make them realized that marriage isnt the most important thing, what is more important is that the two of them love each other.
for me, marriage is just a ceremony to let people know that you two are bonded legally. however it might not be the best path. if the person really love you, even if you are not married, he is willing to go all the way out just for you. what happens if after the marriage and both of you found out that staying loyal to each other is so difficult? and all of a sudden you two have so many differences that each other seems so worthless after the marriage.
what does marriage and relationship means to you?!
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i agree with yr ideas..but not totally, XY!
ReplyDeletegetting into a relationship is as of a emotional bond, it says that at the moment, the two person involved is in love.
However, for a couple to go on forever, the emphasize is not on love anymore, its responsibility.
why responsibility?
This is because i do not believe that love( which is on impulse), could last for 10+ yrs and feelings may fade...
However, marriage, bring into a relationship, a responsibility to be together, for the child, the marriage and otherwise.
Hence, people would not be inclined to divorce at first thought, but would actually spend a longer time thinking.
Stability is very important..would u bear a child with a man that might go off tml?
YJ:)
The movie is so nice! I think that the movie actually reflects different stories that will happened in real life.
ReplyDeleteLike what you mention, in the end, the girl realised that marriage is not that important afterall, like what the guy used to think but than in the end, he still proposed to her.
I think that everyone has their own view on marriages and as time go by, our thinking will also change too. Nothing is certain =)
Joanne
To me marriage and relation is more like a transaction... It involve a give and take... if i find myself giving more then i take/gain, i will terminate the relationship as i am not gaining anything out of it... i guess that this involve a person perception and things like upbringing ^^
ReplyDeleteJamie, are u SERIOUS?!?!
ReplyDeleteMarriage is more than a ceremony in my opinion. It is a legally binding agreement between two parties to stay faithful and exclusive to each other in sickness and in health until the day they die.
And it involves raising children together so that they become useful to society and lead happy lives..
In an ideal world lar.. Like you said, if they cant get past differences, then stuff happens that nay lead to divorce.. This is the real world, not the movies anymore.
But of course, who can say what the future holds for all of us..
Correct?
farhanfranhafraahn
(you-better-comment-as-well-on-my-blog-@-(farhan-franha-fraahn.blogspot.com):D )
hey i watch that movie too... its a very good and touching romance movie... For those who miss it, too bad haha... In the end, that guy decide to marry the girl too. Its a happy ending for this couple. However, there is an example of a failed marriage too when one of the male characters got into an affair with another girl. Whether marriage is important will seriously depend on individuals. If the couple can accept not having the ceremony and still love one another till death, why not? However, people in our modern society are quite uncomfortable with couple without undergoing the ceremony staying together. In my point of view, marriage is necessary and status will then be given to one another. It can giving a form of security to the female party as it can act as a form of assurance. Without marriage, the meaning of a family is largely distorted.
ReplyDelete